Grouch Marx said that "I'd never join a club that would have me as a member." My take would be that I'd never be on a committee that would have me as a member, except that it did and I am. To explain: I was asked to come by and meet the new manager of ambulance operations on KAF. Simple enough, we have an ambulance and he wanted to meet "the owner." We talked about responses on the base especially during a rocket attack. In the past we have been left out if there was a need for more ambulances than the EMS system had and he wanted to fix that. He had been here in 2006 and the system was still screwed up. We had tried to fix it earlier this year, but the person who was in charge of revamping the system got sick and had to go home and no one took his place so things are still, as we say "fubar." {prepare to GOOGLE; JFGI} Anyway, he asked me if I knew about the committee that was being formed. I informed him that I did not, but left out the part about how much I hate meetings. We had just met and I didn't want to be rude by going on my usual "I hate meetings and would rather be poked in the eye by a saw toothe viper" meeting rant. "I'll send you an email," said my new friend, Chris. "Great," I said. "Oh great," I thought, "more meetings." Now don't get me wrong, I still love the Role 3 meetings. They are fast, efficient, and relevant. Kind of the anti-meeting of back in the US. I read my email, was intrigued and thought I would stop by. Besides it was in a secret location. How cool. Meeting day showed up and I went through all the security and was admitted to the inner sanctum. I sat on the sidelines, kept my mouth shut and was very low key. Very non-me. The meeting ended, I went outside and fetched my cell phone. We had to stash them before going into the conference room. My new friend Chris, introduced me to the Canadian Major who was running the meeting. She asked for a card. I produced said card, was polite 'cause she's Canadian and it's like a rule with them or something and then I was on my way. No harm, no foul, no commitment. Lots of high ranking folks in the room. Sat across from a full bird Marine Colonel. Yeah, they don't did the likes of me there. The meeting was at the order of the base CO. An Air Force two star General. COMKAF. Not the cable company. Anyway, I went on my merry way, wishing these folks luck. I was told it was all "secret squirrel." I could tell you but I'd have to...well you know. In my email came the agenda for the next meeting. Including a list of people that "Had" to be there. And who was #3 on the list? You guessed it, moi. By order of COMKAF. Ordered to attend a meeting, seriously? I told the nice Canadian major that I can't be on the committee because I can't access the documents that I need because of security issues. "No worries, " she said, "I'll get you copies." This is taking politeness to new heights. "Besides," she said, "we are trying to turn these into non-confidential, public documents" So, I guess I am the token public. Plus she was so damn nice about it. And she promised to buy me donuts. And told me to call he Lisa. What's wrong with these people? Needless to say, I am now two meetings into the process. I am one of four civilians on the committee. Lots of "ma'am and sirs" during the meeting. Me. I'm just Mark.
Caplin, Mark Caplin...
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