TO: Elizabeth, Queen II
From: Caplin, Mark PA-C
Subj: Knighthood
Your Majesty,
As you seem to be in a very good mood after your Grandson, William was married yesterday and you are throwing out titles like smarties candies, I was wondering if you have any spare titles rattling around at Buckingham palace that you are not using. As a former loyal subject (ok, I was 4 not sure how loyal I was) I feel that I have been a good representative of the Empire {insert snooty accent here} in "the colonies" low these many years. Perhaps a marquesses, earl, or viscount. (or is that French? Par-don) I mean I could buy a Lordship and be in the Lords but that is so last century. And tacky. Maybe a Knight of Kate's garter? Ok, that was really tacky. I'm not asking for much, ma'am. We have a Cambridge Dfac here, does that count? I'm just saying. Perhaps Prince Philip could spare one of those metals that you gave him. He had a bunch. He could of spared a couple to loan to his Grandson. It's not like he earned them or anything. That one paltry medal that he was wearing looked quite lonely. By the way, you were rocking that yellow hat. You go, girlfriend. Anyway, back to me. I think Sir Mark has a nice ring. Or Mark the Earl of nottnghamshire-on-toast or something. I ain't asking for much. Throw a brotha a bone here.
I remain your most humble servant (ask anyone),
M Caplin PA-C
Loved the hats. Even most of the 'fascinators' (except the antlers on Fergie's daughter). Good luck with that title thing - we can call you Sir Mark anyway. Laura OD
ReplyDelete