Like a scene from M*A*S*H maybe...

If you remember a few years ago there was a garbage scow from New Jersey that couldn't find a home. It went up and down the East Coast trying to dump its load. Now I know how it feels. I am on temp. duty at Camp Leatherneck. Due West from KAF on a Marine Base. What I'm doing here? Well, more about that later. But I have given up the comforts of 229 to live in a tent. A tent with old mattresses that have springs sticking out of them. Now E will tell you that she calls me "the princess and the pea" when it comes to my bed. I am not one of those "sleep anywhere" people. I likes my comfy bed, so this stuff ain't happening. So we requisition some new mattress for the tent, which also houses the Medics, and am told the next day that they are ready for pickup. So we take out the old mattresses, pile them in the back of the clinic pick up truck and head out to get our new mattresses and dispose of the old ones. Simple right? I forgot that I was in Afghanistan. First we go to the burn pit. That's where all trash goes. Nope, can't take them here because they contain metal, so off to metal disposal depot. No worries, off we go, of course they are doing construction on the roads so we get lost and end up at the hazmat dump. Nope, they don't want them, not hazardous enough. They send us to the right place. We get them there and, yes you guessed it, they don't want them because of the fabric. Germs you know. So, take 'em back to the burn pit and burn the stuffing off, then bring the metal back. Roger that, back to the burn pit. Nope, the burning material will cause air pollution.The we're told to cut them up and burn the material and take the metal to DRSM, the metal place. But it's the fabric that causes the air pol...wait, sorry forgot where I was. So we decide, let's just take them back to where we started. Sure enough they said to just leave them there and they would take care of it. One and a half hours later we pick up our new mattresses. Ah a good nights sleep. Well, I was exhausted from driving around looking for a places to dump these mattresses..........