Just listen to the the voices in your head...

If you're a celebrity and you do too many drugs while you're out on a tour date, you get hospitalized for "exhaustion." Everyone believes that you were just singing in too many cities and just got exhausted. Because that's way harder than coal mining or fighting fires or professional wrestling. You get the point. We often say that "we're exhausted" when just tired from doing something or "starving" when just hungry or "burned out" when you're just tired of doing something. I have been exhausted. I was helping a friend bring a sailboat down from Oregon in gale force winds and high seas and had to be at the helm for 4 hours and was using my body weight to steer because my arms quit working because the rest of the crew were exhausted too and were below decks resting. So I say"beat" or "knackered" when I'm tired. But I'm exhausted. And I have a clinical reason for it. There has been a cold going around the clinic, which is one of the benefits of being in healthcare, people share their germs with you. So most of the staff is coughing, some with the garden variety "Kandahar crud,"others with colds donated to them by their patients. I started to feel not so good, so I figured that it was just my turn. I was helping to coordinate two medevacs from outlying hubs, out of country. Turns out that the civilian air ambulance companies will only fly to KAF and not to where these patients are, even though there are airports there. Part of KAF is the "Kandahar International Airport" or, as we call it it, Juliet ramp. Not of "Romeo and Juliet" fame, but Juliet is "J" in the international phonetic, pilot speak, alphabet. It is considered Afghanistan proper. So you can't just stop by and say "hi" or "salaam" in this case. It's just like going to any foreign country. We are not in Afghanistan, we are on a NATO base. Both of these patients were sent to our Role 3 at different times, so it became my responsibility to get them home from here. Working with the air ambulance coordinators in Dubai and their home country, I arranged for them to get to hospitals near where they lived. It just happened that this was  going to happen on Friday for both of them. OK, a challenge, no worries, I can make this work. Of course, there's still a clinic to run and new medics to train, but I have Dr. Sharp here to help me and he can see the sick people at the clinic. Between the staff and the patients, we got a bunch of 'em. Also, we are trying to set up a new part of the clinic to start doing in-country physical exams for people renewing their contracts. Don't have the equipment, paperwork or staff to do it, but hey, doing the impossible with nothing is what we do. Plus of the new Medics, some are doing better than others, so I am doing counseling, remediation, and some ass kicking where appropriate. (Exhausted yet?) So, medevac number one goes relatively smoothly. Our number one goal- keep the aircraft off of Juliet ramp. We want it to go to XXX ramp. Ok not an "x rated" ramp, its OPSEC and I can't tell you the real one. So many emails are sent saying go to XXX not juliet. Plane lands, starts to head for, you guessed it, Juliet, but the tower turns it to XXX. Cell phone rings a lot with updated ETA's and requests for ETA's and "where the f**k is the plane" and "why the F**k is it going to Juliet ramp, we told you not to let it go...blah blah," you get the picture. {Wait, quick break, "Where for art thou Romeo?"} There, got THAT out of my system. Don't tell me that wasn't rattling around in your brain...Anyway, plane goes to correct ramp, patient gets loaded into plane and patient number one is out of here. After that I start to feel like shit. I'm beat. I announce that I have to go lie down. Naps in my office ain't making it. I come back to my room and collapse in bed. I wake up an hour later and my sheets are soaked, I have had a fever and it's broken. I have strategically placed my computer next to my bed and roll over and log into my email. "Air ambulance has been delayed by local government," It says. Of course it has. A call to the Commander S, my liaison at the Role 3 to give him an update. He's cool with it, just keep him advised. I get updates on ETAs and pass them along. I am getting sicker. I am getting a fever. I am dehydrated. But the airplane is on its way. Cool, pass that along to CDR S. "Don't let them go to Juliet," he says. "Roger that, sir." I send frantic emails trying to tell the new air ambulance not to go to you-know-where. I need an aircraft tail number and what ramp they are going to. I get nothing back. My phone keeps ringing, requesting updates. "Dude, I'm trying" I tell the CDR. I get an ETA. The plane will defiantly land at such and such time. I pass that along and they prepare the patient for transport out of the Role 3. I fall asleep. And start to hallucinate, because of my fever. Phone rings. "Where's the plane, Mark?" "Should be there," says I, trying to figure out which one of my hallucinations I'm talking to. "Ain't no plane here," the hallucination answers back, who sounds remarkably like CDR S.  I stagger out of bed, force down two bottles of water and start sending emails. I look at the signature blocks at the bottom of the emails and start calling all over the world. No one answers. "FUCK!" I scream, which I think scared the rest of my hallucinations. Stagger to bathroom to pee. Stagger back, phone ringing. "The plane is at Juliet ramp," the voice at the other end say. Now, I'm sure you have said in your life,"maybe this is all a bad dream and I'll wake up and things will be better." I actually had that conscious thought. Well, when I was conscious, that is. I finally got an email back with a phone number. I called the number of a doctor in India who gave me another number to call. Half conscious I am trying to write down the phone number outside of my room in the dark. I call the number, no answer. Phone rings. Guess who? He has an aircraft tail number, I double check, he has the wrong ai tail number. They are packing up the patient and taking him back to the role 3. I would cry, but I'm too dehydrated for tears. I tell him that they aircraft is on the ground, the correct tail number and that a message is being passed on to the flight crew to move to XXX ramp. Ok, they will pack him up again, and head back to the ramp. My phone rings, it's the aircraft. Ok, the flight crew, it's not like "Cars" with talking airplanes, but with my febrile brain, anything's possible. They want to know where the patient is. I keep asking where they are. "We are at Juliet" the talking plane says. "You need to move to XXX" I tell the voice coming from my phone. "OK," it says. I chug more water. I go pee. I stare longingly at my bed. Phone rings, it's CDR S. He can see the plane. Still at Juliet.  I call the plane. I am pacing outside of my room. "Do you see the ambulance, sir?" I keep saying. The voice doesn't get it. It keeps asking me where the patient is. I try and explain that they can't come to the plane, they have to go get the patient. "We have a stretcher on the plane" another voice says. My febrile, influenza ridden brain wants to say the following," I fucking know that, you fucking idiot. You shouldn't have gone to fucking Juliet ramp, like I fucking told you. If you would of gone to fucking XXX ramp, you and the fucking patient would be out of here, and I would be in bed." CDR S is on the other line. He is calm. I tell him I am talking to the plane trying to get them to come get the patient. He is trying to talk the Afghanis into letting him go to the aircraft. Neither of the people that we are talking to speak very good english. I call the plane back. Calmly, but firmly I try and impress upon them the importance of going to get the patient. "We will move the aircraft" the voice says. I call the CDR back to inform him of the plan. He has talked his way onto Juliet ramp. They are loading the patient on to the plane. I figure that I have probably caused an international incident. I don't care. I just want to go to bed, plus, maybe it was all a hallucination......