Note the KAF badges...

That's Geoff, Ryan, Karki, Woody and some dumb ass PA in the clinic area playing "Captain Morgan". We are all wearing out ID. You can be stopped and taking in by the MPs if you don't have it on. Those guys have noooo sense of humor. We are watching the tragedy in Japan as we deal with a disaster of our own. Wish I could tell you about it. Ask my after May 15 when I'm home for R and R. My 94 year old father in law is getting a C-47 WW II aircraft painted in his aircraft's colors in Indianapolis in May. Can't miss that.
It has gone from cold to hot like that {snap} here. I have been left in charge for awhile.  Wait  a minute ,  I heard that............

I shoulda taken the reds, man...

If you are old and a child of the 70’s, like me, you grew up with Cheech and Chong. Smokin’ dope and listening to “Big Bamboo”. On the big black CD that required a needle to play. Phonograph needle, that is. They had a bit called, “let’s make a drug deal,” a parody of the TV show “Let’s make a deal.”  Anyone who has been in the military knows that there is an official way of doing things and then there’s the unofficial way of getting stuff done. Here we call those Drug Deals. One problem here is that some drug deals have been done that should have been done the official way and I have spent a considerable amount of time and energy undoing those deals and crossing my T’s and dotting the I’s so that there is a paper trail and making amends to officials who were none too happy after they found out about the transaction in question. However, that doesn’t mean that the deal de drug is still not happening. Yesterday was just such a day. I have talked about all the rules that we have to follow. One rule is that you have to wear a reflective belt after sundown. Makes sense, we don’t have a lot of street lights here. Kind of an easy way to adjust your aim, if you know what I mean. Also, you have to wash your hands before going to the Dfac to eat. Not ridiculous rules by any means. But they set up a sting and they checked everybody’s IDs and made sure that you had a belt on. If not you got busted. Karki, the Chief Medic, headed out without his belt to dinner and got busted by The Man. Calls of “Karki got arrested” rang out throughout the clinic. Panic ensued until he walked in, none too happy. Also someone was driving our black pickup truck and backed into someone who was also backing up. Two objects cannot occupy the same place in space, I think that is like Fig Newton physics or something, and smash. So we had a “safety stand down.” Which means we had a lecture on backing and belt wearing. Or I think we did. I signed a paper saying I went to a lecture on it. Musta been the world’s shortest lecture because afterwards someone mentioned that they forgot to do the lecture part. Oh well. I will definitely back up wearing my reflective belt from now on.

Yesterday was the Role one meeting. It was at a different spot, the Canadian House and we had Tim Horton donuts, yum. Amazing the information that you learn after the meeting ends. Two quick conversations later, I was off doing deals and solved two patients’ problems that have been going on for awhile. One, a patient that we have been trying to get out of country and the other that walked in in the morning that had baffled us. Problem 1 solved with a color copier. Problem 2 solved with a consult by a Doc who just happened to be hanging around and was the specialty that I was looking for. A free donut and two medevacs. Now that’s a drug deal…

Thoughts, one each, random. Use with caution...

I've lost my damn room key. Do I report it and risk humiliation? Do I leave my room open and risk getting my stuff stolen. Or do I do what everybody else does and lock it and open it with a knife later on?

My running buddy David, another PA, leaves today to get trained in his new assignment at another base. Bummer, I guess there's always Skype...

Attention Muslims: Stop killing people over the idiot in Florida. Enough already. OK he burned the Koran, he's a dumb ass, but over react much? Our constitution allows him to do that. Your religion does not allow you to kill Innocent people who had nothing to do with it. So knock it the hell off. Makes you look bad.

Attention American forces: Quit killing Innocent Muslims and Afghans that are minding there own business. Jesus Christ people, just 'cause you're in a vehicle and stopped to have a picnic and pray doesn't mean that it's OK to send a Predator and A-10's to kill families and children because you were in a hurry to "neutralize the threat." What threat? "Blue leader, looks like Naan and chapli kebab but could be a Frisbee mounted IED, going to guns." Makes us look bad.

I replaced the F word with hell. Made me look bad.

I'm so glad that I brought my Ipod.

Trains, planes, and automobiles...oh, and a sailboat

Me at the helm with the GGB in the background

Jay and Robert

In 12 hours it's back on the plane for Afghanistan. When asked, most people always say,"it was too short" in response to "How was R and R?" So how was mine? Too short. It is so nice to be home. And to see E. And to take long showers. And it good food. And see my friends. And go dancing. And get a REAL smoothie (note to self: get one in the morning). I wonder how many people don't come back? Worry not sports fans, I am going back.  I was a whirlwind weekend. I taught ACLS on Friday then rode the train to Sacramento and took  a cab to the hotel. As we were checking in we saw the "free shuttle to Amtrak" sign. Now you tell us. Then dance workshop and Ball on Saturday. Off to see my friend Mary Sunday morning and Mom and Dad on Sunday night. Well Dad, anyway. Long story. Sailing this morning with my friend Robert on my other friend's Jay and Jeannie's boat and then a really good dinner at Firefly in San Francisco and..I'm exhausted. I need to go back to Afghanistan for some rest. Not a lot of sailing in KAF. Well, there is the Poo pond, but let's not go there. Literally. While we were out someone jumped off of the Golden Gate Bridge, right in front of a ferry. I can only imagine the Captain trying to distract the tourists by saying "everyone look off the Port side..." Too bad. Not what you want to see on vacation. The Coast Guard kept making an announcement to kepp a sharp look out for someone in the water.
We flew Southwest airlines back from Indiana. So nice. No expectations, so no disappointments. Just some sodas and a bag of snacks and nice flight attendants. One sang at the end of the flight. And then at the end of her announcement said,"...and if you're connecting with another airline, we just don't care." Gotta love that.

I think that they're trying to tell me something...C

Well, my teaching gig of 20 years is closing. In one email, they begged me to teach a class next month, in another, they told me that they are shutting the doors at the end of this month. I'm soooooo confused. So now I need a gig until June 23.
OK, found one. A friend is offering "house call services" in the Bay area. Already did a couple of shifts, only get paid if you get calls. Calls to houses, apartments and hotels. One of my first shifts was during the Bay to Breakers race. For those not familiar with this event it is 7 miles of craziness disguised as a race. A race with alcohol, costumes and nakedness. Yes, must be San Francisco. Of course I got a call at a hotel right in the middle of the madness. The person was from out of town and when I tried to explain to him that it would be awhile to get to him, after I tried to even get close, with no luck, I told him to look out of his hotel window. "Oh," he said. "I see what you mean."

"Captain's log star date.." Oh wait, "Medical officers log…"

In 4 hours I become the Medical Officer for TS Golden Bear. Along with a physician, we will be responsible for the medical care of 330 students, crew and staff while sailing the Pacific ocean. What could possibly go wrong? OK, don't answer that. Being on California time and going to bed early, I woke up at 0400 Hawaii time in a hotel overlooking the harbor. Took E on a tour of the ship last night and she enjoyed "Captain's cocktail" hour, the last alcohol on the ship for awhile. She saw my cabin, which really is spacious and sickbay and the ward, along with the Ward room, the dining room for us officer types. One of the Docs is using the "Star Trek" model for his relationship with the Captain. Does this make me Nurse Chapel? Please, please don't make him say "He's dead, Jim." Or in this case, "He's dead, Sam." Nope, not on our watch. Literally.

We will be in Port for a few days, changing crew and cadets. Getting settled in and figuring out our way around a 500 foot long ship. I'm semi-familiar with it but I already got lost giving E the tour to the ward room. I ended up near the gym in the bottom of the ship. Of course I explained that it was all part of the tour. She didn't buy it...