Girlpower, the Role 3, and me

Working here is sometimes like being an airline pilot-hours of boredom interspersed with moments of terror. Yesterday a woman was brought in by friend semi-conscious. She had received some bad news and took a handful of pills. She was out of it when she came in and all of a sudden the clinic was full of patients and I was here alone. I sent a "help"text to Dr. Sharp, who had gone to church. We started an IV on her and got her ready to go to the Role 3. There is not that I can do for her. Ordering lab tests, etc, here is a waste of time. If she crumps, we are screwed. I called ahead, told them that we were coming and loaded her into the ambulance. We got there and passed on what information we could. We had found the pills and looked them up on the Internet and actually figured out what they were. Sleeping pills. I passed this onto the Doc at the Role 3 and sent someone off to search her room. I came back to the clinic to finish up and see what else was going on. A little while later I got a call stating that they needed me back at the Role 3. I drove back and told them what information I knew. They told me that she will need a 24 hour babysitter and that it would be me. When I questioned them about this they basically said that they don't have the staff to keep "eyes on" and that we would have to provide the folks to do that. I called back and we started to make arraignments to stand watch. It is a Navy hospital after all. I volunteered to go first. They gave us papers to sign explaining our duties. Rule number 1-you must be the same sex as the patient. Umm, small problem. Regroup. Go to plan B. Back to the clinic I went and gathered up most of the female staff to ask for volunteers. They all volunteered. God love 'em. So I made up a watch bill and worked out the rotations. They was some confusion about vehicles and how to get there. {insert sexist comment here} We worked it out. I told them to call me if there were ANY problems. Only got one call at 0100. Had to go to the clinic to pick someone up so they could leave it for the next person. Dr. Sharp called me back three hours later. He had just read his text. All in all, smooth sailing so far. Guess what's next? You are correct, a medevac...

"NOAH, I WANT YOU TO BUILD AN ARC..WAIT, DISREGARD."

So they were predicting rain. Lots of it. So we all went in to high gear. Sandbags, food stocked in rooms, etc, etc. I checked the forecast and wasn't that impressed, but given the fact that we had major flooding previously, not a bad idea to prepare. I put on my rain jacket to walk to work. Across and down from me someone has sandbagged their room and has a dirt berm perfectly situated so he can open his door bit still hold back the flood waters. Then the rain came. For about a minute and a half. As someone said, "just enough to screw up the cars." But we were ready, damn it.  Which is probably why it didn't rain that hard.  The Afghanistan version of Murphy's law.

House cleaning, Turkey and napping. oh my...

We closed the clinic for Thanksgiving afternoon. It was lovely. I came back and scrubbed my room. I was tired of walking in and thinking,"God this place stinks." So I swept and swabbed and dusted and washed down the walls. Loved every minute of it. Call it Fall cleaning. My room no longer stinks. There is the residual poo pond smell that wafts in, but all in all and improvement. Exhausted from my cleaning binge, I collapsed for a lovely afternoon nap. Hadn't even had turkey yet. Woke up, hit the shower, changed my clothes and then we headed for the clinic, our meeting place for heading to dinner. We decided to go to the other side of the base. Less people there. We knew that there was going to be a line waiting for us, but that's what we do, stand in line. So 18 strong, we piled into every vehicle we owned and headed out. Looks like we got us a convoy. We arrived at the "flight line" Difac and got in line. Not really a long wait, and turkey awaited. I couldn't be happier. Everything but stuffing. Instead they had orange/almond rice. We all sat together, one big happy, dysfunctional family. It was all very nice. There were tons of letters from school kids that all started, "Dear soldier." I read them out loud, they were all cute and we laughed at some of the kid's descriptions of themselves. One liked to sleep. A man after my own heart.  One had a lazy dog.  Sorry that we're not soldiers kids, but we loved your letters.
Then we went to the clinic and played poker for candy. Taught Karki how to play draw poker. We tried to play Texas Hold 'em by trying to remember how it went on TV. It was described by one of the players described as"that one on TV where you show all of your cards." Yes, we are real card sharks. Karki kicked my ass and had all of my candy. Beginner's luck my ass...

Turkey day and the chase of the wild goose

Happy Thanksgiving y'all. Well it's Thanksgiving here, not quite for you but you'll catch up...
We'll see how today goes. Big dinner planned at a couple of Difacs. My favorite meal on my favorite holiday. What could happen?
Michael had his first medevac. Went off without a hitch. Totally smooth. I hate him.
A patient came in the other night very late. Dennis saw him and realized that he had cut some tendons in his finger. He was told to come back in the morning. Which he did not. He does not work for Dyncorp. He just new where we were. That afternoon, Karki and I went looking for him. We were like private detectives looking for a missing person. We went to "South Park" the massive tent village were most people live. We found hie tent and the found the tent where the "mayor" lives. He told us that he could be anywhere. Dejected we were walking towards our car when we saw a guy wearing a shirt with the guys company on it. We asked if he knew our guy. He did not, but told us where his boss was. Jumping into the car we sped off in the direction of the company's HQ. Bingo, the boss knew this guy. I jumped into the bosses car with the boss. The boss was  a little confused and jumped into the passenger seat with me in the driver's seat. I didn't know where we were going, why am I driving? The boss was not used to Japanese cars and had gotten into the wrong seat. After a quick switch we where on our way. We finally found our guy. Turns out that this company had their own Medic and he had gone there. Cool. Let's go talk to him. So back in the Van we got and found their Medic. He knew noting about this guy. Turns out that he is a new PA there and his guy was seen by his Medic who had not told the PA. PA not happy. PA promised to take care of our patient and deal with his Medic. All good. Except I told the PA that his Medic had sewn up the guys finger and it turned out that it was Dennis. Oops.
I am waiting for an email from the company PA so I can explain the situation, and drag his medic out from under the bus.

The normal abnormalities are back to normal

 Just back from the Role 3. There is a medevac cooking. The good news is that I pawned it off on the new PA, Michael. I am calling it "training." Pretty tricky, no? Boys gotta learn...
There guy needs to get out of here for surgery. We spent all day trying to figure out what was wrong with him. All were stumped. So off to the Role 3 for CT scan. They're not sure either, but they know he needs surgery and they know that they don't want to do it. So hence, the medevac.
We had a rabid dog run around a fob attacking people. Our medic there chased the dog until Vector control could trap it. The dog attacked the Medic and then the Vector guy. the Medic was in a fight for his life and stabbed the dog, who then let go of his hand. Someone eventually shot it. Twice. First one didn't take. Luckily our Medic had rabies shots prior so he doesn't need the full series. Life can be very tough here. But he'll be ok. And OHS's reaction to all this? They wrote him up. For what? I don't know. But I think an email is in order. Never a dull moment...

Took you long enough..

Well, I'm back. Back meaning that we have had our first rocket attack. Let me rephrase that, our first real rocket attack. We had one earlier but it was some sort of unannounced test. The real one happened  at about 0400, and was over at 0430. Just time enough to get up, get dressed and pee. Then back to bed.
Apparently, while I as gone, we have become more efficient rocket attack wise.
As we all know my favorite day her is Friday, Role 3 meeting day. So off we went to the Role 3 for the Role 1/3 meeting. That's when we get together to talk about problems, share information, etc. There was one thing missing this week-someone from the Role 3. Just us Role 1 types. They changed the name of the Role 2. Not sure what's going on. We took a patient to the Role 3, who said that they would have to bill him. Not an emergency, more like an elective thing. We'll just send him home instead. He is going on R and R in a week, anyway. Some definite belt tightening down at the Role 3. It has a new name too. Not sure what it its.
We have politics happening as well. All about R and R coverage and permission and crossed wires. Same old same old. We'll work it out.
We had movie night last night. Pizza and near-beer and Tom Hanks in "Terminal." Quite a pleasant evening. Set up a projector in the clinic, turn off the lights and have 2 hours of escapism. And no rocket attack. Quite nice of the Taliban I thought..

Technology..nothing to fear

Today is my Dad's 77th birthday. E was in Stockton so she bought him dinner at the hotel that she and Laura, her cousin, where she and Laura, her cousin, are staying. Then they went up to their room to Skype me at work so I could wish him Happy Birthday. He was sitting in a chair a little baffled by the technology. How could he see his son 9,000 miles away and talk to him at the same time? He wasn't impressed for long, because he announced that he "had to go." Home. Ah, Dad, we set this up so we could talk. I got everyone in the clinic to sit on my chair and wish him happy birthday. When Karki said hello and happy birthday, my father announced that he didn't know who he was."My son doesn't talk about you," he said. Thanks Dad. We did convince him to stay. If you watch any of the 8mm movies from when I was a kid you will see the Caplin family just standing there. Doing nothing. Luckily there is no sound or you would hear my mother and father yelling at each other to "do something." My Dad used it instead of the still camera. There are pictures of us standing around, all over the world. So in true Caplin tradition, my Dad just sat there on Skype. Afraid to move. My father the statue. I kept saying,"Dad, say something." He asked how the weather was. I knew the "how's traffic, it's horrible here" conversation was just around the corner, so I redirected the conversation elsewhere. They had even plied him with wine. Didn't seem to help. Just my father, frozen in the chair baffled by technology. A lot has changed in 77 years. Except my Dad...

One week down, 13 to go

We have a poo pond "mini me" outside the back gate. You have to walk on sandbags to get to a less muddy are, then on to dry land. They continue to clean up the downstairs area from the Great Flood. I am just glad that I live upstairs. It would of sucked in a big way to come home to a flood damaged CHU. FLDDAMCHU would probably be an acronym assigned to it or something.

Dennis has shaved his handlebar mustache. He looks 10 years  younger. Although he has had it for two years and we are all in shock from it. I am still not used to it. We don't do change here very well.
He and Dr. Sharp are leaving for R and R around Christmas time so preparations are being made. I am trying to figure out which Dfac to go to for Thanksgiving. It is my favorite holiday and you have to plan for these things you know. I figure that I can cross the British Dfac off the list. "Toad in the hole for Turkey day? Again." Yes we had turkey but they boiled it...

The rain in Spain (KAF) falls mainly on the plain (Hicks)

The morning commute has become complicated. Have to dodge giant mud puddles and divert around closed gates. And it's not even the rainy season.
Back in the clinic, I announced that "Daddies back" and we had a big cleaning session. We're hip deep in mud and flu shots, so the clinic has been minimally staffed so some things have gone by the wayside. Like cleaning the clinic. I ran the morning meeting as Karki was out "flu shotting." A bunch of new people here so I am trying to figure out who everyone is. The hubs and fobs have been realigned while I was gone. This was done on purpose to add to my jet lag confusion. I just know it.
Last night there was a bunch of out going. Not sure if the were aiming at anyone or just target practice. My theory: it was meant to keep me from getting any sleep. I'm just saying...

Honey, I'm home (sort of)

After spending way too much time and money in Dubai, I am back at KAF. They had some rain while I was gone, so as we were landing I noticed that there were lakes and rivers where there wasn't any before. Wow the weather in San Francisco was better than Afghanistan. Something ain't right here.
I was pleasantly surprised to have a business class seat on the "Gryphon bird" back here. Who knew that I was a "mucky muck?" Or a "Muckily mulck" as Karki would say.
Camp Hicks flooded, luckily I live on the second floor. There is mud everywhere.
I had mailed myself some stuff, including coffee and licorice for the clinic. There was also 13 pounds of salt water taffy from one of my former Medics, who is now at Leatherneck.

We are in full flu shot mode here, so staff is spread far and wide. But I did call Karki and made him drive me to lunch. So things just can't change. We went to Cambridge Dfac where the menu was "Toad in the hole." I was ecstatic, the new Medics we brought with us, not so much.
Being the nice guy that I am, I tortured my lunch mates with tales of all of the fantastic food that I had while on R and R. I though that it was the least that I could do.
After lunch there was something about "not having enough room in the SUV and you have to walk back to the clinic..."

Bye Bye Dubai, Bye Bye. And thanks for the air show...

Ok, I snuck into the air-show. Ok, I didn' sneak, I was credentialed. Ok, I wasn't credentialed, I bought my way in. Ok, I didn't really buy my way in. I filled out the credentials, paid a fee and, son-of-a-gun, if they didn't let me in. I figured that I would be found out. They said I needed a passport and business card. I have a passport and a business card. So, what the hell, what could happen? They could ask me to leave. Or throw me in jail. Worth a try. You actually make an ID card on line, which gets printed at the event. Took a snapshot with my trusty MacBook Pro, put on a collared shirt and jumped on the shuttle bus. They let me right in. Passed a background check and everything.

A boy and his ID air-show pass

This was defiantly the playground of the rich. And the military. I can hablo aviation if I have to. Only denied access to one aircraft. Screw you Airbus and Qatar airlines. I was denied access to the new 787, but I conned my way on. Truly an amazing aircraft. Went on lots of multimillion dollar business jets. As one of the Captains who was on to me said,"this is how the other half lives." It turns out that there is a shortage of business jet pilots. Hmmm is 52 too old to start? Probably. Oh well.

It was free, damn it

Had one advantage of being a medical person. I got a free umbrella from the Dubai Dept. of Health. It's a nice one too.  What I'm going to do with it, I don't know. But it was free, I'm a Caplin and it's coming to Afghanistan.  Watched the aircraft going through their maneuvers. The UAE has a new acrobatic team. There was an Airbus version of the C-130 that did some amazing stuff.  Better than "Fat Albert," sorry Blue Angels.
I have a 0400 show time for my flight back to KAF.  Me and my new umbrella will be there...

Do I overeat now or wait for KAF?

24 hours later and I've made it to Dubai. I could of spent 4 hours in the airport, gone through customs, walked outside, got a boarding pass and  went back through security and customs, waited in the Airport for 2 hours and flown to KAF. As enticing as that sounds, I opted for a shower and a Hotel. Both of which almost didn't happen. You lose a day coming here. I left on the 10th and arrived on the 12th. OK, I technically spent the 11th in Germany. For Veteran's Day. "Spring time for Hitler, in Germany..." Hey, hey, no singing... Anyway, when I made my reservation I made it for the 12th, because, well, I arrived here on the 12th. They had no reservation for me. I made it on your website, dude so check again. "AH, Mr. Mark, your reservation is for the 12th." Ok, I know I'm tired, need a shower, and am a little confused about time zones and geographic location, but my cell phone says that it's the 12th. Turns out that, in hotel world, the day doesn't start until 0500, so it's the 11th. I could wait here until 1000 then my reservation would be valid. That's 8 hours from now. I-just-want-a -room. and a shower, not necessarily in that order. They had me. I was in the I DON'T CARE HOW MUCH IT COSTS mode. So I got a room. In the room is a note," I know that you want nothing more in the world than a shower, sorry we have no water because they are repairing the main water line, so, tough shit." Ok, I m paying twice what I should, and there's no water?! Permission to cry sir? Wait, I'm too dehydrated from being locked inside a refrigerator for 20 hours. The guy behind me in line has 5 hours to shower and nap to catch a flight to Africa somewhere at 7. He is an ugly American. He wants a wake up call. No wake up calls, use the alarm clock. And no shower. He turns full ugly now. I am not far behind him. They offer him bottles of water. To shower. Then, the phone rings. Water is back on. We are saved. I am tired.
I get to my room, shower and try to sleep. No dice. My brain says that it is 3:00 in the afternoon. No problem. I am a healthcare profession. I have drugs. I set the alarm for 7 to wake up for breakfast and start reprogramming my brain back to KAF time. No flights on Sunday to KAF so a couple of days here.
On my flight from Frankfurt my movies didn't work. For 6 hours. The idea was to watch movies and not sleep. So I ate instead. And, of course, fell asleep. The best laid plans...

Trains, planes automobiles, sailboats, Ok not so much with the sailboats...

As I have said, the most common comment about R and R is that it goes by so fast. This went by fast but it was great for every second that I was home. % hours until I get back on the plane for 20 fun filled hours of flying. They changed my flight so I had to delay my return flight to KAF. Bummer. Now I can sleep instead of flying for like a year and then crawl to another gate for the charter. Actually you have to clear Customs, go outside into the parking lot, get a boarding pass, go through customs and security again and wait two hours for your flight starting at 0400. So sorry that I'm going to miss that.
Didn't get to go sailing. The problem with October is that the weather is too good. Hell of a problem, no? It just means minimal winds. I got my Bay fix by riding the ferry to Oakland for the Framer's Market. Didn't see any "Occupiers" there. Thought they might be hiding in the strawberries or something.
I came home to dance and eat. And dance and eat I did. The Asilomar weekend was darn near perfect. Rain and all. Dinner at Gary Danko was perfect. As well as all of the other meals that I had, many with my friends, and that short chick that keeps following me around. She made me go home with her after buying me dinner. Ok, so I'm cheap and easy...

Happiness is a warm...shower

Greetings from the Camp Leatherneck spa and country club.
An uneventful flight. Direct KAF to Bastion/Leatherneck.  Bastion is the British side of things. Were the airfield is. Up at 0300 for the flight, so no breakfast. But I'm a fat contractor so I can skip a meal now and then.

Only company internet here. It's much faster but many things are blocked. Including blogs. I could tell you how I'm writing this, but I'd have to, well, you know. Took me a couple of days to figure it out.

First order of business was a new mattress. I am in Bill's room across from the clinic. He has an old mattress, which is really a box spring. They have an interesting definition of mattress here. Maybe it's to keep the Marines  mean or something. This is my third trip here and every time I come here I deal with a bed. My first night here I slept in the community tent with the a/c blasting all night long. Then into the private room for a night. Not much sleeping going on, so in the morning I went on a new mattress hunt. I found one of the new ones that I had procured from an earlier visit. So a quick switch and, presto, new, firmer mattress. Then a trip to the PX for a foam pad and the "princess and the pea" was happy again.

Bastion hospital is our Role 3. We have a CSH on Leatherneck which used to be across the street but has now moved into a real life nice building. Bill took me there and introduced me around and I have taken two patients  there already.

We were notified that someone had collapsed and had been taken to the hospital the night before lasty. No other details. I called EMS who told me that they had responded to a call, but couldn't find anyone. So, we drove to Bastion and asked at the reception desk. We were told that someone had come in at 2300. Did we have a name|? No, we didn't, we were kind of hoping that YOU had a name. So they gave me the name but told me that they had sent him home. OK, so off to his work place we went. Nope wasn't there. "He is in the hospital, sir," we were told. We just came from there, and he ain't there. The supervisor will contact me. Fine.
Back to the clinic we go. Now operations wants to know what's going on. I tell them my chasing of the wild goose story. "Did you talk to his supervisor?" they ask. "I tried," says I. A few minutes later the supervisor arrives, and tells me that his guy is in hospital. So, off we go back to Bastion. This time we talk to a lieutenant, I mean lieuftenant and he tells us that the guy has been admitted to the ward. Military intelligence, the ultimate oxymoron. We go see the guy. He is sick, will be there a couple of days. Mystery solved.

The one advantage of being at KAF is my room and the showers. I don't have to hike to them. Here it's a hike. And there is very limited water, so you have to take a "Navy" shower. It even reminds me of being on a ship. Water on, water off, soap up, water on, rinse, out of the shower. Sometimes the water is even hot.  You really do appreciate the simple things in life here. And a hot shower is one of them. I have always loved a shower. When you're hot and dirty, there's nothing better. Navy or otherwise. California has nothing to worry about from me. I'll be in and out of the shower in no time. Jerry Brown, fear not, your water supply is safe with me..

A check up from the neck up...

When I was a kid I went to a pediatric dentist so I have no problem going to the dentist as an adult. Haven't been since I've been gone, so E scheduled me an appointment while I am home. Off I went yesterday for routine maintenance.  The hygienist wouldn't stop talking during the whole procedure. Including dissing my "dirty" teeth. Hard to explain that I have not been able to go to a dentist because, like, there is no dentist where I am, when you have suction, high speed water and a scraper in your mouth.  She kept asking if I was OK. ""Fine," says I. I was having hairdresser flashbacks. Why do these people insist on telling you about their day, life, menstrual cycles, etc.? Just cut my hair. Or in this case, just clean my teeth. I know that they're dirty. That's why I'm having them CLEANED. Think of it as job security. What do you want me to say?" No, this is the best experience of my life, I have never had such clean teeth. You are truly an artist and deserve the Nobel teeth prize..."
Too grumpy?
And they found a cavity. Not my fault. Old filling. Apparently it is a magnet for dental caries. So back I'll go for a filling. Can't wait.