Payday and other postal holidays...

I got my first full paycheck today. It was weird, usually there is so much stuff taken out of it. But not here. They did take $15.91 for health insurance. Don't let anyone fool you, people are here for the money. Back home they may talk about the noble concept of  "supporting the troops" but, in truth  we are all mercenaries. Doing a job that most people don't want to do, in a place most people would prefer not to be in. But, having talked to many people here, it seems that they are on their second or third "contract." They have been to Iraq and Kuwait and worked for KBR or out in the gulf on an oil rig or some other DOD type contract job. I can totally understand it. I'm a month and a half into it and I'm thinking,"How do you go back to a normal job after this?" Especially people that are making $90-100K here,when back home they'd be lucky to make 40k. Like any other place there is complaining but the vast majority of people are happy here. Every day is a challenge and, I think people like meeting and overcoming those challenges. I know I am. I get frustrated, then I think of something or someone helps me out or I read a policy or like a blind squirrel occasionally finding a nut, I solve the problem.
Another rocket attack last night. No deaths, no injuries. We were in the bunker for an hour Someone brought their computer to finish watching "The Wolfman." What a sucky movie; but we were literally a captive audience. So we all watched it. At one point during a tense part of the movie where the doctors are doing experiments on the wolfman,  a voice from the dark called out, "oh, this isn't gonna end well." Made me laugh.
As I was walking to the Post Office to mail some letters, I was asked,"Why are there stamps on those letters?" A strange, possibly trick, question. "Ummm, so the post office delivers them?" I said. Now, remember this place ain't normal. So weird questions are the norm. This is the place that during a rocket attack, I had my patient on the ground and I was laying on the ground next to her with my arm up trying to keep her I V running, when I thought ,"this is a really stupid way to die." "We're sorry your son is dead, Mrs. Caplin, but at least he kept salt water running into that woman's arm." Anyway, turns out that letters are free here. You just right "free mail" where the stamps go. Who'd a thunk it? So, if you'll excuse me I have to go mail the $100 in stamps home that I bought before I came here.....

Thoughts, random or otherwise...

Going barefoot not such an option here. We are a beach without an ocean. The whole place is rocks. With a scorpion and snakes thrown in for good measure. Not so much here, though. Given a choice of Tailiban or snakes, I'll face the "taliwackers" everytime.
I live upstairs in "chu-ville" (convex housing unit). Outside my door are sharp grates:

I swear they sharpen them every morning. So, any trip to the latrine or shower or to the bunker or just outside in general involves flipflops or my new favorite thing, Crocs. Crocs rock! (Look, a new advertising slogan) They're blue and I sleep in blue scrubs so I look like a Surgical resident. A resident with a flak jacket and helmet running away from rockets. Last night I woke up to my alarm clock saying "all clear...all clear..." Oops, slept through an attack. Not so good. But turns out lots of people did.
Unfortunatly, I opened my email in the morning to find  that a young woman was killed in the attack. Killed instantly. Just a reminder that this is a war zone. I felt really bad for her and her family. I can't tell you where she was but it was kind of in my neighberhood and part of me, a big part of me, wished that I could of done something or at least tried to do something for her. It is what I do, after all. I feel kind of selfish about that. Nothing could be done for her, but us" rescue mentality" folks feel better if at least we can try. I don't want to treat anyone with a war wound. Not that I'm afraid to do it, I just don't want anyone to have to be a victim. I now have two trauma bags, one at work and one in 229. My superstious nature feels like if I have the stuff then I'll never have to use it. Now I just have to remember to take it with me. I'm over 50 and I have CRS you know. "Can't remember shit."
I took our new PA David to the bizzare on Saturday. He needed sunglasses to I tried to show him some knock off brands. Here he is trying on some "fabulous" hollywood style:

Note the tag behind his left eye. He didn't buy them, not sure why.
My morning routine is to wake up, put on my little tea pot, put on the crocs and head to the bathroom. Make a cupa tea. Talk to E on Skype, shower, put in the ipod and walk to work. So, do me a wee favor. As you sip your tea, or coffee, as you read this, enjoy that sip just a second longer. Think about the people that you love and that love you, including me, and smile; 'cause life is short, so enjoy it one sip at at a time.

Cheers..........

The crocs next to work boots

At least in Berkeley they don't fire rockets at you...

We have a new PA in town, David. He came from Kuwait. I was originally going to be his relief but I decided to come to Afghanistan instead. What was I thinking....So, today I had a sick patient in the clinic that I was treating and trying to get to role 3. They were busy so I decided to keep him until 8pm when the ER accepts patient. Meanwhile, another patient came in and needed more long term care. Then the rocket attack alarm went off.  My first thought? "Shit" Ok on the floor, IVs and all. Then off to the bunker with a Medic each. Just another day at KAF...
You never say the word"slow" when you're a paramedic, it angers the paramedic gods. So I got a message today that ended,"at least you're not busy." Great. Thanks. Now see what you've done.
David wanted a newer smaller flak jacket. So he went to get one. He went to the gym and missed getting to wear it during the attack. Bummer. My goal, figure out who's fault all this is...

Meeting hell......not so much

Anyone that knows me knows of my love of meetings. Meetings are designed to do one thing-keep people from getting real work done. So, today I went to my first meeting of "Role Ones." That's us. A NATO designation for what you can do. I, II, and III. III is the trauma center. I is like a battalion aide center. I think that we are more of a Role II. But who am I to argue with NATO? Look what happened to Libya. So off I went to my first official meeting as Clinical Supervisor. Mostly military folks. Started on time. Was efficient. Lasted half an hour. My kind of meeting. And I made them laugh. I just can't help myself. {sound of E groaning} We were talking about people shopping around for medical care. I said there was a rumor going around that  some one's treating kidney stones with beer and that all of KAF has flank pain. The British Doc next to me said that it was them. I said it must be the German's, their beer is cold.
A new PA, David arrived yesterday. He is getting over jet lag. He was working in Kuwait, the position that I turned down. He told me I could call Eric, the PA that I met in Ft Worth, so that was cool. I thought that we are in the same time zone but they are 3  hours behind. Great more people to wake up accidentally...

I know you're a terrorist but geez, do you have to be inconsiderate too...

I was up until 3am wating for a patient to come down from a FOB by helicopter. After driving him around, arguing with a doctor at the Role 3 hospital and NOT getting him admitted, I took him to get a billet for the night and then I went to bed. My plan was to sleep in and be avalable by phone. All of a sudden I realized that my alarm clock was saying,"Rocket attack, rocket att..." Oh wait, that's not my alarm clock, that's THE alarm! Hmmm,  I'm in bed, do I get out of bed and lay on the floor? I'm on the second floor so will a distance of 2 feet make that much difference? I'm way comfy here and.........ok I'm up, or down as the case may be. Ok, no floor but off to the bunker. But man do I have to pee. Ok I'm not dieing with a full bladder. Or, most importantly staying hours in the bunker with a full bladder. So, like the John Belushi scene from "Animal House" I dodge and weave my way to the bathroom. Then I repeat my performance to the bunker, just in time for the "all clear" signal. World's shortest attack. Maybe the Tailban had to pee too.
The rocket attack alarm  is an English woman's voice. The all clear is an American male voice. And they say that Americans are alarmists...

Here 30 days!? Feels like only a month...

Things I am likely to do when I get home:
1. Drive 20 mph. The speed limit here is 20 kilometers an hour. I got up to 30 the other day. I felt like such a rebel.
2. Get in the wrong side of my car. We drive on the right with right hand drive. At least once a day I climb into the passenger seat. I'll get home and do the same in the Explorer. And  use the windshield wiper  as a turn signal (I'm getting better).
3. Just get in line for no reason. We stand in line for everything.
No corned beef and cabbage for St. Patty's Day. We did have chicken enchiladas. Look out Cinco de Mayo, corned beef for sure.

Went to an ambulance drill. We are on the mass casualty call list. Very interesting. I learned about some of politics of this place. The problems are the same everywhere. Disasters are all about communications. So many radios and telephone systems. But I did learn how to use them.The great thing is that during a disaster they turn on the ECF. That's the thing that jams all radio communications. Great.............

Things that go bump in the night...

If you live anywhere for a period of time you know every noise your house makes. You know neighbor's car sounds, the house expanding and contracting, etc. Not so here. The question you ask is ,"Is that incoming or outgoing?" We had incoming. We were having dinner, heard a boom and then the nice lady saying "Rocket.....attack......Rocket....attack,.,,"So I hit the ground in the Difac (chow hall) some people just finished eating, others headed out side. We headed outside but couldn't find a bunker. So we just hid behind a wall. No one was hurt. Hit close but can't say where. Take that Tailiban...
The picture is the actual menu  from that night, Swear.

Keep it simple they said

Updated snail mail:
Mark Caplin
DYNCORP/LOGCAP IV
Apo AE, 09355

Neat freaks need not apply

Random thoughts:

Erin go Braugh, or bratwurst for you Pittsburghers.

Taking  the morning off.  “The wall” reared its ugly head and I hit it. What did the fish say when he hit the wall? Dam! That was for Bruce.

Tim is teaching the “Kandahar Reel” in class today. That is so cool. Wish I was there. Maybe I should do the Noe Valley Reel here.

Power and internet are off this morning.  Writing this on battery power and candle light.

There are actually two hotels on KAF, the Kandahar Hotel and the Bull and Bear.  Walked to the “Bull” and bought a nice cup of tea.

Just propped the door open and did a little Spring cleaning on two-two-niner. Clean here is a relative term. We live in dirt and mud. If you saw my clinic you’d be appalled. But it is actually quite clean. When I first got into one of our trucks I thought, “Don’t they ever clean these things, geeze.” But now I realize that it’s a waste of time. We have to wash them to take them to maintenance so they come back clean. Even our ambulance is dirty. My old “Regional 1  l brain” shocked.

Flip flopped down to get my laundry. So nice to drop off and three days later clean and folded. All washed in super hot water so if it was too big before, fits great now, if it was tight before, it’s even tighter now

I had to buy a new watch. The one I had fixed and had a new battery installed just up and died. No watch repair here, what a shock. So will mail it back to Casio. They don’t ship to APO’s, like a lot of places so will be waiting for me in SF.  Bought a very cool freestyle watch. Very cool.  Cheapest watch in KA-F $60.

We get paid once a month. No me gusta. I don’t like. Will be fine after April but all this hot milk granola and supplies is adding up. You could live here and never spend a dime. But have to “gear up’ for first month.

When you  live with the Military, everything is an abbreviation. I have decided to ask instead of just nodding my head. I still have no ide what anybody’s talking about.

Thanks to all my friends that I have been bugging favors from. Makes my job a lot easier. I won’t be stopping soon, btw. J

I hear gas prices are through the roof there. Glad my poor Explorer is parked. E took it for a spin but had to call AAA for a jump. Poor thing. And E too…

Thank you for calling A T and T, that'll be $600...

OOPS. Got the ole phone bill online today and kinda forgot that I was in a foreign country when I was in Dubai. Cell phone worked great. The hotel wanted to charge $29 a day! Well, I sure showed them. Instead of free Skype calls (mark.caplin1) I used my cell. Great reception. It better be for 600 bucks. Come on payday...
Our little crisis is winding down and when I get the all clear I'll fill y'all in. Most interesting.
Found a case for my new little camera that E sent me. Haven't taken any pics yet. Was busy. We are having a run on appendicitis cases. Went to get my newest patient  out of the hospital (Role 3) after surgery but he won't stop throwing up. Not good on the roads of KAF. We have NO smooth roads. Speed limit is 25 kph. So I went to the British PX and bought the British LT Cadbury chocolate. They have closed my Tea Shop! War is heck...Maybe I can free the lad tomorrow. He is in a warm, comfy bed and people bring him food. Not bad really.

Three weeks down; 49 to go. Or 10 to R and R, I like that way better

I finally gave up and went to the billeting office to ask for help with my stuck on heater. Turns out that you have to clean out the filters. So I did. Iyt had half of Afghanistan in them. Now it's working great. Too great. I can't get it off of cold now. I'm freezing. Luckily E sent me a flannel comforter cover. Long johns in Afghanistan, this is soooooo wrong. Stay tuned. I may get hypothermia and heat stroke in the same day. Only me.
My office mate, Dennis has returned from "crisis management." Good to have my battle buddy back. We laugh, we cuss, we laugh some more. Don't know how I'm going to act in polite company.
Following Japan events. Wow. My DMAT team never made it past the motel in Travis. Now they want an after action report."It was touch and go with the ice machine but we adapted and overcame. Room service was rough, they ran out of french frys and they went all onion ring on my ass. No HBO, watched HGTV. Got fooled by the  big "H" at the front end. Will need debrief."

This is me chillin in my office. Don't look too close, may see top secret stuff. I kill you......

Christmas comes to KAF

When I was in the Navy, pre internet, mail call was a huge deal. Now we have email and skype and texts so instant communication is rampant. But I got a package from E and a letter from my Mum and Dad and I had a rush of those old feelings. Everyday in Taylorsville, where I grew up, we would wait at the PO Box for the mail. "Mail call" would echo thru the camp and we would come running. Especially in Boot Camp.
The weather has changed from cold to hot. Do not pass Spring, do not collect $200. My heater is stuck on heat. Bummer. I went to the billeting office with a plea for help. Turns out you have to take the filters out and clean them, then the cool will come. And it worked. I have a cool can now. Here's a pic with me and some staff after our morning 7:00 meeting.

Note the KAF cards around our necks. Don't look too close or I'll have to kill you..... You don't go anywhere with out them. There are random checks all the time. No card and you go to Gitmo or something.

A little of this, a little that

Sunday here in KAF. Not really any different from other days. We have the a/c on. It was so warm in my office that I fell asleep. And no one woke me up.
Watching the events unfold in Japan. We get the morning shows from the Sates here at night. Now CA has "sprung forward" I just add a half hour to the time- 4:00 pm here is 4:30 pm the night before there.
My DMAT team was activated and they made it to hotels near Travis but have been sent home. You can only allow so many people in at a time and groups will start showing up on their own. Japan is crowded to begin with and they have a very good emergency response system.Still, I wish that there was something that I could do to help. Their coast line has shifted and the earth's axis has shifted. I can't wait for the 2012'ers to start. We are still dealing with our own little crisis here. Changes daily. The staff is doing a phenominal job.

Just another day at KAF....

What does Afghanistan look like? Looks like this. I didn't take this picture, one on the Medics did on her way back from a FOB.
I actually slept normal hours last night. Only took 16 days. Trying to write a training manual but spent the day chasing down Hepatitis patients. Found 'em, tested 'em treating 'em. Can't really say much more.
I will be coming home the third week in May for R and R. Eileen's Dad is a World War Two pilot who is being honored at an airshow in Indianapolis for flying C-47s. They are painting a museum aircraft in his aircraft's colors and having an airshow and I really don't want to miss that. Then to SFO for a few days, then back to the "sand."
I have a new saying,"It can be boring here but there's never a dull moment..."

How, like, totally rude

So there I was,like, totally ordering my hot milk granola, totally organic (I think)  and awesome fake smoothie when like, the Taliban, like, decided to like totally launch RPGs at us. Pleeeeeeeease like, how rude is that? We had to run to like,to  the bunkers and wait AND I didn't bring my smoothie!! Like bummer. The helmet totally messes up my hair. Turned out the Taliban dude accidentally "butt dialed" the launchers. Duuuuuuuuuuude!? How Lame. They did hit something but like it's totally "secret squirrel." So, shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I am fine, and did save the granola and smoothie. So another blow for freedom...................

eau de toilette.............literally

All the "poo" from KAF comes to the open pond, our sewage treatment facility. It is a short distance to our living quarters. Which, of course, is down wind. We are famous for our poo pond. It is known far and wide.  I walk by it to and from work. A smell that I will never get used to. Part of the morning routine is 7:00 meeting, then walk down to "Green Beans," our version of Starbucks, for a "smoothie" and hot milk granola. I say smoothie is quotes because the contents do not include fruit. "A mix" is what it's called. A mix of what, I don't know..

I hit the wall and the wall won.....

Working 12 hour days 7 days a week just hit me. Had trouble getting out of bed. So I stumbled back to bed 'cause I wasn't  good for anybody. Dennis to cover sick call. God love 'im...
I discovered yet another PX, this time the Dutch. Very nice.
I have had it with my company issued NOKIA p.o.s. cell phone so I ventured out to the boardwalk and scored a Motorola. Best $41 I ever spent. I can actually program phone numbers and everything. My sim card has other people's phone number on it so spending the afternoon deleting numbers. The rain has stopped and the sun is out. Still dodging mud puddles.
Talked to Eileen last night just before the monthly party, so I fell asleep to "reel of seven" playing on my ipod. Waltzing in my dreams. Do love their Reel of the Royal Scots. Now catching up with "Wait wait don't tell me " on the podcast. Recharging my cell phone batteries why I recharge mine...

We're not in Kansas (or Berkeley) anymore, Toto...

In the States if I want to send someone to a specialist I fill out a form and off they go. Here they are put on an airplane, get a hotel room in Dubai, and then see the specialist and then get on an airplane and fly back. If it's critical, they go down to role 3, the Navy hospital, so it takes "family practice" to a new level. Also if you're in a fob, you get on some sort of aircraft and make you're way dowm ere. Yesterday we treated a malaria patient with a high fever and chased a guy with hepatitis that took 2 days to get here then wechased him all over the base only to find him at role 3. I am a wee  bit tired working 7/12.. Big day at the PX. They had a new batch of brooms!!! Cleaning day at 229 here I come...

Chic, sheik, potatoe, patato

Earned my keep today. Three sick patients walked into clinic at the same time. One transported by ambulance to "role 3," the Naval hospital. It's raining again. Oh goody. Our vehicles went off for maintenance and repair and came back clean. It was weird being in  a clean vehicle. That won't last long.
 Ran into the women who were on my plane to Dubai. They were there a week and just got here. Expensive "vacation". I saw the British sick call today. They have two ambulances that look like left overs from WWII. This is a NATO base so there are troops from all over the world. Can't tell you who they are. Many accents at lunch. The Army brass band was playing at the boardwalk at lunch. Nice musical interlude.  The Canadians play hockey there too. A little rain ai'nt stopping them. Bought a new pillow at the British PX. It's stuffed with bangars and mash.....

Happy Anniversary to me.............

One week down, 51 to go........"Contractor sheik" is the way to go here. 511 pants and collared shirt. It was 501's in the States, 511' tactile pants here. Takes awhile to change, you have to get all of your stuff out of your hundreds of pockets. E229 now has a little carpet to add to the homey feel. Much warmer on the toes. Have to be careful of tracking in mud. Not sure how to do that. First week-one acute appendicitis, one Malaria patient. Yesterday was alarm test day. Very droll British voice, "rocket.....................Attack.................Rocket........Attack" 
They do your laundry for us. Very cool, comes back all folded. Very nice. Trying different Difacs, dining facilities. Went  Asian. First healthy food. Most things are fried.  Then Irish stew later on. There is an endless supply of Sprite. So keeps my morale up. Along with a cupatea and sausage roll. I will be so fat when I come home. More rain today, goody. Time for the wellies............

Here comes that rain again.....

Hello from mudville. Caesy ain't at bat but he is in four wheel drive. I thought I would walk to work. It's just a little rain, right? What a dumbass. More rain today. Oh goody. AT least  229 don't leak. There was more rain in the shower than the shower. Was driving back from work. Hit a puddle and stalled. At night. Not sure where. In Afghanistan. I called AAA and they said,"Are you out of your f'ing mind?" {subtle Cheech and Chong reference}Had shall we say, a moment. Of panic. Mom!!!??? But the ole Toyota truck dried out and we were on our merry way. Dude!!!
The Medics present patients to me as the medical supervisor. One was presented to me and the guys diagnosed Malaria. I was so proud. Called CDC and we will do labs and treat him. Didn't see much of that in Berkeley. The Medic education project is well under way. Preparing these guys to go out to the FOBs (forward operating bases) and take care of business. At least they get away from the poop pond....